You
March 11, 2009 Computers, Other Creative Stuff, Programming Releases, Writing No CommentsAs some of you may know, I was recently heartbroken when my girlfriend left me. It hurts, but I’m healing, and part of that process is putting my angst towards something productive, so that I don’t spend all my time wallowing in self-pity. Although wallowing is fun, and not just because wallow is such an awesome word! *wallows*
Anyway, getting to the point, I wrote a poem. But not just any old poem - a love poem. In haiku. But not just any old love haiku - a bilingual love haiku. That means that it can be understood in two completely different languages. And not only that, but one language is used primarily by humans, and the other is used primarily by computers! It’s a bilingual trans-species love poem haiku!
That’s right, all my loyal nerd readers. I wrote a love poem that is simultaneously in English and Java! Is it sappy? Yep. Is it nerdy? Hells yep. And am I proud of it? To…ta…ly!!!
Okay, first off, here’s the poem:
/*I see you in*/ class
You {double my; //happiness
long as; You are; //'round
static //and quiet
public/*ly I can't show how
Much you mean to me*/
/*My life's been a*/ void
main/*ly a*/( String of[]){ //failures
{}You make; //me hopeful
/*One day in class*/ You
Wear; /*a gorgeous dress and I
Choose to take the dive*/
/*I say I love*/ You
But; You don//'t reciprocate
;//Sheepishly I leave
/*I*/ try {//to move on
System//ize my life and just
/*Throw*/ .out //emotions
//Still my pen won't stop
/*I feel I must*/ .print( /*some lines
Telling*/ of[0] //my thoughts
/*Why*/+" is "+//it the case
/*That we cannot all be*/ "loved");//?
}/*This is love's big*/ catch
/*But then I find a
Truth without*/ (Exception and){}
finally {//I see
/*You may not be loved
By those whom you fancy most
But someone loves you*/}}}
Now, you can read that as it is, but if you know your away around Java, you can save it in a file called You.java and compile it. It has no dependencies and compiles and runs without any errors. If you’re lazy, download it here: You (60) Even better, if you pass it your name as a command line parameter, it has a special message to you, from me! 
Finally, since I’m super duper nerdy, I made sure that anyone could clean the code into a readable English poem, by removing every instance of the following thirteen characters: /*{;([])}.0+”
Hell, it’s so easy, even a computer could do it! (Are you noticing a pattern here? I’m preparing for the arrival of my inevitable bionic fans 
)
This program cleans up You.java and prints it out nicely for you: You (60)
Aaaaaaaaaaand….I’m done! 
